Casting the MLS Musical: Part IV

Nice moves guys, but not Best Choreography-worthy.

Ten down, nine to go. Today, the Midwest. Or at least, what I call the Midwest from my little Eastern sanctuary. Meaning, Chicago, Columbus, and Kansas City.

Chicago Fire: Mamma Mia 

It’s a crowd-pleaser, it’s been kicking around for a little while, and there are adaptations of what it’s done that have made it into the public consciousness. But after a little while, it comes across as one of two things: monotonous (Fi-re! Fi-re! Fi-re! Fi-re!) or whiny (Grazzini, I’m looking at you). And neither of those make for a memorable performance. Its heyday is past, but many of its fans talk about it as though it’s still the greatest production out there. Which it’s not. (Insert obligatory Mamma and Pappa joke here.)  


Columbus Crew: The Lion King

The obvious: they wear yellow.

The not-so-obvious: they’re relying on a crew of youngsters and ragtags to return to prominence.

The even-less-obvious: their mascot is a cartoon character.

The obscure: home is kinda grody after a few years.


Kansas City Wizards: Wicked 

Fuck their name change, this is what I’m calling them. Easy reference, “The Wizard and I”. It’s also a show that’s very colorful, acrobatic, and successful. Does very well at home, has had some trouble on the road. Devoted supporters, but not in groups that rival the biggest cult shows. But people also forget – they won some stuff.


Coming soon: the rest of Canada, plus Philly.

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1 Response

  1. DH says:

    “Fuck their name change”.
    Stay classy.

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