Why I Hate Star Wars Day


I hate Star Wars Day.

Well, not really. If you’re a fan of something and want to celebrate it, bully for you. Towel Day, Fish Fingers and Custard Day, Star Wars Day–if someone comes up with a day to celebrate your sci-fi proclivities, have at it. My problem is Major League Soccer latching on to one of these such days and jamming down our throats for a few weeks of the season. (At least The Doctor likes his footie.)

It’s gimmicky. It reminds us of the days when the Kansas City Wizards danced around to Austin Powers music and the league overly catered to the suburban family who might be out looking for a super-fun day rather than celebrating the game that is being played and the fans that enjoy the match for the match. Nonsense like that Austin Powers video is one of the reasons I was a soccer-hater for so many years.

And will Star Wars Day help grow the game? No, probably not. Is there some Star Wars fan thinking, “Well I’ve never been to PPL Park before, but I heard it’s Star Wars Day so I’ll give it a try?” No. Is there someone pondering, “I’ve never watched soccer on TV before but I’ll tune into NBC Sports Network because I bet Kyle Martino has some killer Chewbacca jokes?” No.

It’s also a bit more than frustrating that Star Wars Day (which won’t grow the game) is this heavy handed league-wide thing and proper LGBT Pride Nights (which will grow the game) are sparse. I know of one on the schedule so far this upcoming season. (By the way, Houston front office, you rock.) Proper LGBT Pride Nights will grow the game by welcoming a group into our stadia that often feels excluded as both participants and spectators for so many reasons from athletics in this country. And yet they are not yet a priority for this league.

Now Major League Soccer, how about you put down your light sabres and work on things that will actually help grow the game in this country. Not having nationally broadcast matches that run until 1 AM Monday morning would be a swell start.


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